Katana Quest
by ludroth
Summary: This is the Story of A man and his quest to complete an ancient challenge set forth by the ancient anime gods and to earn the right to wield the legendary unbreakable katana.
1. Prologue

Katana Quest

Prologue:

Legends Tell of a blade forged by the gods themselves. Wrought not of steel, or silver, or any metal known to the mortal world, but of the souls of a thousand magical girls. It was forged not within the depths of a furnace, but in the flames of internet wars, and tempered using the tears of otaku long since removed from the world. The result was a katana of such sharpness as to be able to rend the very earth asunder, its blade so strong as to render it unbreakable. To wield this sword is to wield the power of the gods themselves. So, the gods decreed that no man shall do so, unless they can prove themselves worthy.

In ancient times, the gods bestowed man with knowledge of the way to prove themselves worthy to wield this blade. They set forth a series of tasks and issued a challenge to all men to complete them. The first mortal man to complete these tasks would have the sword bestowed upon them as reward, and when this individual finally leaves the mortal plane they shall be allowed within the palace of the gods and welcomed among them as an equal.

These tasks that the gods had given were made so that only a true Otaku, a master of anime, could ever hope to complete them. First, one had to gather the three legendary artifacts of anime: The Shades of Kamina, the Body pillow of Asuka, and the Ears of neko. Then, they had to traverse the windswept fields of sand known as the Manga desert, until they reach the sacred mountain, Mt. Weeaboo. There, they must first defeat the Shota legion, whose sacred duty is to guard the holy mountain from all who would desecrate it. Then they must climb the thousand steps of eternal Ninja anime to the summit of Mt. Weeaboo, defeating the four lords of ninjitsu along the way. Finally, upon the summit of the sacred mountain they must defeat the gatekeeper of the gods; A massive tentacled monster known as H'en-tai. Once this is done, they must place the three legendary artifacts upon an alter of gold, then, and only then, shall the god of music herself, Hatsune Miku, descend from the heavens and bestow upon whoever completes this challenge the legendary blade.

For a hundred years, men and women of all walks of life, from lowly farmers, to wealthy lords, fought and died over the legendary artifacts, hoping that they can gather all three and proceed to Mt Weeaboo to finish the gods trials. None succeeded, and over time, people ceased to believe in the legends, and so the sword faded from the minds of men for a thousand years, until a young man stumbled upon the legend.

This is the tale of that man and his quest for the legendary blade.

This is the legend of Dirk Strider.


	2. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

It was a Cold winter morning, the was barely cresting the horizon, illuminating the frost covered land, upon which stood an impressive looking castle, its ramparts thinly veiled in the morning fog. Within this castle lived among many others, a Prince by the name of Dirk Strider. Dirk was roughly 5'4, a master swordsman (unless you were to ask him, in which case he was the greatest sword master ever to exist), a maestro of the noble art of slam poetry, also known in some circles as "rap", and as of today, 21 years old. Few outside of relevant circles, however, are aware that the young sovereign to be is also a savant in matters related to Otaku lore, which in recent history has come to be referred to as "Anime", and those who professed in it had come to be known as "Otaku". Dirk found the tales of the ancient world to be extremely fascinating, and could often be found poring over dusty old tomes filled with Imagery depicting the adventures of heroes long forgotten, or in online discussion rooms, debating the finer points of said tomes. At the moment, the young prince was engaged in the latter of the two.

Dirk sighed as he read the latest contribution to the ongoing discussion of this forum, it was from an individual known as "SuperKawaiigirl223" denouncing his perfectly logical argument on grounds of him being a "fat single slob living in his mothers basement" and citing baseless accusations regarding his mother's sex life. Of course, Dirk was not fat, nor a slob, but he was single, but this was of no concern to him, he was, however, slightly disconcerted about the accusations directed toward his mother, considering that she had been dead for 15 years, and he was pretty sure that was before this individual was born. Dirk quickly delivered a retort to the uncouth youth, then, having grown bored of the discussion at hand, left the board, and began to peruse through the list of other boards.

At first nothing seemed to catch the mans attention, until he stumbled upon a board titled "The legend of the Immortal blade: Is it real?" At this, Dirk frowned, he had never heard of this legend before. Out of curiosity, he clicked the link and began to read its contents, at first he doubted the validity of this particular tale, which according to the comments, was not uncommon but then he came across a part of the legend regarding a certain pair of legendary shades, at this point, Dirk began to realize that this was not some myth, that this was a real thing that existed, and, more importantly, that he already possessed said shades, which at the moment rested upon a shelf above his prized antique katana, which was just as authentic as it was deadly, capable of slicing the vast majority of unarmored things in two with but a single stroke. Dirk walked over to said shelf and retrieved the shades, he paused for a moment to inspect them for any scratches, then donned the legendary eye ware, a smile forming on his lips. At that moment, he realized what he had to do, destiny was calling, and who was he to refuse its beckons. With new found purpose, he changed out of his nightwear and into clothing more suited for adventure, grabbed his sword from its resting place on the wall, and proceeded downstairs to prepare for his quest.

The prince moved throughout the castle quietly, hoping not to attract attention to his departure, if his father caught wind of his intentions, he would no doubt make moves to stop him, and that was the last thing Dirk wanted right then. He stopped first at the castle armory to retrieve some light armor, as well as a grappling hook, a tent and sleeping bag, and a dagger. He then made his way to the infirmary to retrieve bandages and medicine for if/when he gets injured on his quest, and then he was off to the kitchen to retrieve food and drink. Having finished preparing, Dirk, now clad in armor consisting of leather and chain-mail, and a fur lined cloak made his way toward the stables and began to pack his supplies into the various pouches which lined the saddle for his horse, Maplehoof when a voice asked "And just where might you be going Dirk?" Turning around, The prince found that the voice belonged to none other then his younger brother, Dave. "Well Dave" he began, "The short story is that I am going on an adventure." "and the long story?" the younger of the two inquired. "The long story is that I am going on a long and highly dangerous quest to retrieve several artifacts that no one has heard of, let alone seen for a thousand years, then cross a huge ass dessert, fight a small army, several master ninjas, and a giant tentacled monster, as well as anyone else who attacks me on my journey, the end result of which will either be my death at the hands of the aforementioned giant tentacle monster, or being given a kick ass unbreakable sword by one of the gods of old, then being allowed to become one of those gods when I finally die" Dirk explained. Dave stood there silently for a moment then shrugged and said "Okay, good luck with that, I'll just stay here, you know, alone with the king who is no doubt going to be absolutely pissed that his son just ran off to get a sword he read about on the internet." then he turned around and walked out of the stables, presumably back to sleep.

Dirk shook his head at Dave's obvious failed attempt at guilting him into at the very least bringing him along for the adventure, then turned to resume packing Maplehoof's saddle. A few minutes later, Dirk had finished packing and mounted his steed. He took a moment to look around one final time before he Set off from the castle and into the world beyond, not once considering that he may never see it again as his horse carried him further and further away from the walls which he had spent up until now his entire life residing within. It took The young prince a whole 10 minutes to realize he had forgotten one crucial detail: He had literally no Idea where he was going. Bringing Maplehoof to a halt, Dirk reached into his pocket and retrieved a map as well as a small tome called "The lost library of Kagatsume" he had grabbed on the way to the stables, opening both, Dirk began to search through the book, which listed all known references toward the mythical library of kagatsume, an ancient ruin whose location was lost hundreds of years ago and, according to rumor, held within its depths an unprecedented collection of ancient artifacts and knowledge, including, Dirk hoped, the last known locations of the two remaining legendary artifacts, the body pillow of asuka, and the ears of neko. However, the location of the library was lost ages ago, and all this book contained were vague hints and confusing riddles. He closed the book and returned it to the pocket from whence it came, he would consult it later when he had more time. Turning his attention back to the map, Dirk began to scan the document for the nearest town, which happened to be a place called Questantsville. Dirk saw that it would be a good 5 hours by horseback to get from where he was to the town, so without further ado, Dirk packed the map away, and set off in the direction of Questantsville.


End file.
